Broken brotherhood

When I’m not on the road, I have lunch with a group of longtime friends on Wednesday afternoons. Some of these men grew up here in central Florida, others of us are transplants. We are as different in background, upbringing, education, financial status and careers as you could possibly imagine.

We’ve met in at least 8 different restaurants over the 14+ years we’ve been together. None of our meeting places were what you would call “haute cuisine” by any stretch of the imagination. We started in the upstairs room of Jeanette’s (a local lunch spot long since gone) followed by The China Pearl that proudly served the best (and only) Chinese buffet, Mongolian Barbeque and cat in town. There were several other short stops along the way but our longest by far was Wilbur’s. They served the best southern/soul food in central Florida; fried chicken, fried gizzards, fried livers, fried fish, fried shrimp, fried okra, fried hamburger, fried onion rings (by now you get the idea that they fried just about everything.) Red velvet cake was their signature desert, sending anyone into a diabetic coma. There was a certain ambiance to Wilbur’s that started with the fact that the floor was so sticky that you could literally come out of your shoes as they remained fixed to the grease infused carpet while you kept walking. We’d probably still be there if the health department hadn’t shut them down, or if they had paid the rent.

These days we meet at La Botana, serving the best Mexican food around. It’s located in the back of a convenience store with about 6 tables and a small kitchen, but the food is really phenomenal and at modest prices. The burritos are huge, homemade salsa (pico de gallo, salsa verde) and hot sauce that burns the top two layers of flesh from your month, tongue and throat. I know of nowhere else in central Florida where I can get pork cheek tostadas. Yes, that’s correct, they take the cheek from a pig’s head, cook it and serve it on a fried tortilla with lettuce, tomato, onions, salsa, sour cream, etc. While the floor is not nearly as memorable as Wilbur’s, you really need to bring an English-to-Spanish app on your smart phone if you’re not totally fluent in Spanish.

As a group we’ve been through thick and thick together, good times and bad. We’ve lived and walked together through births, deaths, cancer, graduations, comas, successes, failures, weddings, moral failures, loud laughter and uncontrollable weeping. I count it an incredible honor to call these men my friends.

Recently a son and wife of one guy both experienced broken bones in relatively short succession right after one another; one ankle and one collarbone, one hairline and one requiring surgery. As he took us through what he and his family were experiencing, I could hear their personal pain of the breaks, changes in lifestyles; the long and painful recovery process. It was helpful for them to know there were others that went through similar experiences. They were surprised to receive an email with an attached x-ray showing a wildly shattered fibula where Humpty Dumpty was put back together again with 7 screws and a metal bar. And unless you’ve had the most unfortunate opportunity to see me in shorts without shoes or sox, and then looked closely at my ankle for scars, you would never know that it was my x-ray.

I think it’s safe to say that we all have scars of some kind; some are more visible than others. Some are physical, some are emotional. Some live with open wounds that are really sensitive to the touch. They will do anything to protect that hurt from being bumped up against, or even noticed.

And scars do not travel alone; they come with their close cousin, pain. I know that some of you feel totally alone right now in your pain and your suffering. You have a sense of living on a small, pain infested island with no bridge, no lifeline, no ferryboat, no rescue.

It may come as something of a surprise to hear that God personally did this too. He didn’t sit up in heaven and just look down at us. No, he personally “experienced it all himself—all the pain, all the testing” that you and I go through. Without any anesthesia, he felt the complete and total force of the pains we endure, but not just to collect information or experiences. In Jesus, God came and went through the same things we do so he “would be able to help where help was needed.” [1]

Hope and comfort start by knowing that we are not alone. But we need someone to walk with us daily as we feel the searing intensity of pain. And because God experienced all sides of pain just like we do, he is able to help you and me in our deepest pit.

While living in another part of the country, I stopped by to visit a mother a few days after her son was discovered in his apartment by friends. He had struggled for most of his adult life with drug addiction, having been in and out of several rehab facilities. Speaking about his apparent overdose while standing in her front yard, I heard a broken woman and mother talk about the red-hot dagger in her heart. I watched tears of anguish and heartbreak roll off her cheeks and onto the ground. Feeling totally inadequate, I listened and put my arm around her. Through the tears and pain she slowly but surely moved from talking about her deep sorrow and transitioned to how God was with her and her family. She explained how comforting it was to know that Jesus had gone through every temptation that we had, and was there to help us. I marveled at how she left the pain to lean on his love. As she began to wrap up her story, she told me that Jesus was there to help her and was truly comforted by the old hymn, “I Need Thee Every Hour.” I looked into her tearful, red eyes and with a great sense of unworthiness finally said something. “Yes, every hour, and sometimes every minute, every second.”

That’s the kind of God Jesus is. He went through pain, grief, disappointment, experiencing separation and loneliness more than we’ll ever know. And he did this all for us, to bring us back into a right relationship with him. And once reunited with God, we can move forward reuniting with one another…a band of brothers.

Bring your pain, scars and problems to Jesus today. He’s the only solution, the only savior, the only source for healing.

Blessings - Chet

Chet Gladkowski speaks and writes on topics that touch on culture, life and faith through GLAD Associates. This article is taken from a chapter in his upcoming book.

[1] Hebrews 2:18

Dancing with God

Coming into this life, I was placed in a multi-ethnic family environment. As you can guess from my last name, my father’s heritage is Polish. What is hidden from view is that my mother’s family is from Italy. This very interesting combination not only afforded me many different forms of food and music, I also was a very convenient verbal piñata for all sorts of ethnic jokes and slurs. I’ll let your imaginations do the work there.

One thing that both Polish and Italian cultures embrace is dancing, and my parents were great at it. When they first met after World War II, they would go out dancing with their friends all around Baltimore. And since my grandmothers bore a total of 28 aunts and uncles, there were plenty of weddings for my almost innumerable cousins affording countless opportunities for dancing.

Whenever my parents got up to dance, they were the center of attention. Their faces lit up with excitement and enjoyment as they moved across the floor with such great grace and energy. People would move off the dance floor just to watch them, clapping with the music and finishing the number with applause for the music, the entertainment and my parents.

It was a source of pride to be their son. Family members, friends and even strangers would come up to them; shake their hand, patting them on the back. Everyone was astounded and amazed at their dancing skill.

At one point in my life I was absolutely convinced that dancing was a learned talent and not genetic. I came to this scientific and statistical conclusion because I have enough trouble just walking, no less dancing. You would be amazed, or perhaps you wouldn’t, to know how many times I trip over myself, a leaf on the sidewalk, crack in the street or curb. My knees, elbows, hands and head all bear the scars of countless close encounters of the third kind with the floor, street, sidewalk, pieces of furniture.

But dancing appears to be one of those DNA things that skip a generation. Our daughter Jenny is a phenomenal swing dancer. Watching her live and through video clips, my jaw still drops as she effortlessly moves across the floor, synchronized with her dancing partner; arm in arm, spinning, moving across the floor while they talk. With great big smiles on their faces and laughter in their hearts, they move within a crowd of other dancers like a great school of fish who are all connected by some mysterious, invisible string. When the dance is over, they clap and laugh while I trip and almost fall trying to get a bottle of water.

While some of us can dance better than others, we all desire this kind of close friendship and contact with people. Even though I trip over myself as I just walk across a dance floor, there is still that hidden part of me that wants to dance. And somewhere deep down we also want this with God. We want a close, transparent and open relationship with God but we somehow feel dirty, unworthy and guilty about approaching him.

The great news is that God wants to dance with us. More than just a close, step by step and completely open and ongoing connection, God wants to be part of our lives. To prove it, he came in Jesus Christ, fully God and completely human all at the same time. The Bible uses some very interesting and relational language to describe Jesus as someone who is “alongside” and “near” us. He is also “holding with” us in this life and forward into all eternity. [1]

When we read those words, doesn’t it sound just like dancing? God wants to be alongside us, moving step by step with us, holding onto us. Yes, God wants to dance with you and me. But as with dancing, it can’t be forced. He offers to dance with us, but we have to reach out our hand and welcome him alongside. He will not force us to dance with him. But we know that he greatly wants to dance with us. Our part is to open ourselves up to his invitation to dance.

Now I can hear some of you saying, “But Chet, you don’t know how I’ve stumbled and fallen in the past. My hands, mind and life are dirty from all my dancing disasters.” While that is true for all of us, God also knows all about us yet he openly and freely wants to dance with us, face to face.

I would really encourage you to reach out your hand and life to Jesus, inviting him to dance with you today. He’s life’s great dancing partner, knowing us, looking into our hearts with love and acceptance. As we live and dance with him, gliding side-by-side, arm-in-arm,  hand-in-hand with us across the dance floor of life.

Blessings - Chet

Chet Gladkowski speaks and writes on topics that touch on culture, life and faith through GLAD Associates. This article is taken from a chapter in his upcoming book.

[1] Hebrews 2:14

Thank you for the pain

Now the topic and conclusion may be up for debate, but when I picture myself I sort of think that I’m a semi-intelligent human being… Now that the immediate laughter has died down a bit, I really do think of myself as somewhere right in the middle when it comes to smarts. With my educational experience to the contrary, some people have even thrown out the idea that I’m even a bit smart. But all that went down the drain when I spoke with a clerk the other day at the county courthouse.

My passport is coming up for renewal, so I went online to find out what form needed to be filled out. I was a bit stunned to easily find the form because governmental web sites are notoriously overly complex and difficult to navigate. Not only did I easily find the form, there was even a $4 off coupon for the required passport photo. Quickly printing and filling out the prerequisite form with information that took neither time nor talent, I clipped it together with the coupon and old passport.

Laying out my plan and route carefully, I retrieved the prepared items and began what I thought was going to be a “walk in the park.” Everything necessary to complete the renewal application and process, including the coupon, was in my folder as I left the house for what turned out to be another Gilligan’s “three hour tour.” First stop the pharmacy for the obligatory passport photo with $4 off coupon in hand. The photo process took no more than 5 minutes and I walked out a very happy customer with my newly minted (and $4 discounted) photo’s in hand.

Jumping over to the courthouse, I went through security and joked with the officers about my hip replacement that was sure to set off their metal detector. Walking briskly down the hall, I stood in line with all the joy and confidence of an Olympian competing against third-graders. What could possibly go wrong?

When the next window opened, I almost floated over and said “Hi” to Nancy, the clerk from a place a little bit lower than heaven. I handed her my completed form and was about to surrender my passport when it all started; a 17 minute detailed doctoral dissertation diatribe about the correct way (and there is truly only one proper way) to fill out the all-important document needed to renew my passport. Some of my passport faux pas included;

Using a pen with blue ink and not black – What was I thinking, using blue ink and not black! Why didn’t my Federal government guardian angel scream from the heavens to prevent me from committing this most heinous and offensive of paperwork sins?

Photos not properly stapled – Not having an engineering degree, I did not realize the importance of stapling the pictures exactly square on the form. Now that I think back on it, I must have set off the small earthquake in the south pacific on the day that I stapled my picture on the form; unbalancing the tectonic plates on which we live.

Not having my date of birth on the memo line of my check – this one really caught me by surprise. When I originally looked over the form, nowhere did I see this. But at this point in the process I was exhausted and not in the mood to argue, I just made a mental note and hoped that my stay in paperwork hell was just about over. But because of who I am, I had to find out. So, I read and re-read the form over and over, and by golly there it was; buried in a word map that would have challenged Indiana Jones! Yes, I had to admit, the form did actually tell me that this was an actual governmental requirement for the form.

There were numerous other details that Nancy covered, all being vitally important or the planets would stop spinning around the sun. Her final advice was that I needed a “big paperclip” to properly hold all my paperwork together. I smiled, thanking her for her concern but assured her that I had large paperclips at home. Her entire facial structure seemed to fall, her forehead came over her eyes while her mouth gaped oven as if to say, “You poor unfortunate thing, you have no idea how you have just stepped into it, offending the paperclip gods.” She repeated my desperate need for a large paperclip over and over, each time the tone of her voice dropped lower and lower, as if to add importance with her anxious call for my paperwork redemption.

Leaving with my tattered clerical tail between my legs, I tried to stay in the shadows so as not to draw any attention to my setback and shame. I hung my head as I slowly made my way through the courthouse, wanting to remain anonymous in humiliating defeat.

Looking back on my encounter with Nancy, I took a few minutes to think about what some people will stand up and fight for. In my unfortunate case, she was the expert and I was just a poor, unfortunate and uneducated person from the wrong side of the forms. While this will not permanently damage my psyche, we’ve all witnessed and even participated in endless wrangling about seemingly meaningless details. I once witnessed a heated, long and loud debate over who was poorer as a kid.

We do the same thing with God; we bring mountains of anger and details to God, demanding definite rulings about our “rights.” We look down out nose at others, pumping ourselves up while putting them down in their place.

Jesus tells a story about two people just like us praying to God [1]; the first is right, self-important and arrogant. With his head held high he thanks God that he is not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers. At the end of his prayer, he informs God how lucky he is to have him on his team, not like that “sinner” in the back row. The second guy in the back row is so sorry and embarrassed that he refuses to look up to heaven. Instead, he looks down and humbles himself before God. No attempt to justify his failures, his only prayer and hope before God is to ask for mercy and forgiveness. Jesus concludes that the second guy was forgiven, restored and made clean before God.

Our hope for a relationship with God is not to try and impress him with our accomplishments, knowledge, power, rightness – they are like the dirtiest rags imaginable. The only way to be truly made right with God is to admit that we cannot fix ourselves and throw ourselves on his mercy. That’s why Jesus came, lived, died and rose from the dead; to make a way back to God for us and all who are willing to abandon their self-righteousness.

Instead of bending God’s ear with how great we are, we need to bow down and loose our arrogance and receive his mercy. Now that’s an argument well worth losing.

Blessings - Chet

Chet Gladkowski speaks and writes on topics that touch on culture, life and faith through GLAD Associates. This article is taken from a chapter in his upcoming book.

[1] Luke 18:9-14

1 + 1 = 1

It just doesn't always work out well. You take one thing you like and add it to another thing you like; the results can be a whole lot less than satisfying.

For example; I really like fried onions on hamburgers, cheese steaks or with a nice piece of meat. I like my onions sauteed in butter till just golden brown. They add flavor and make the whole experience seem upscale as opposed to just plain, every day and garden variety. I also like cooked peaches. They are great in hot peach pie or cobbler. Cooked in butter, they are so tender and sweet, melting in your mouth with just a hint of sugar and cinnamon added to spice things up. Here 1 + 1 = 2.

Well by now you’re guessing that I did the unimaginable. Yes it’s true; I did make a dish combining both onions and peaches, cooking them together in a frying pan with butter. To say that the culinary results were less than satisfying would be an understatement of epic proportions. To say that it made me gag is historically accurate as I quickly took the limp mass of onions and peaches to the trash. There was no standing on ceremony or playing of “Taps” as they slid out of the pan and into the bottom of the plastic trash bag. There was momentary panic as I realized that the still hot peaches and onions might melt the plastic bag thereby enshrining the epicurean glob on the trash can itself. Thankfully, the NASA designed plastic trash bag maintained it structural integrity as it only melted a bit. In this case, 1 + 1 = -1.

This idea of adding two good things together with less than spectacular results is true in more than just cooking. Take war for example, it just doesn’t always work when you take one thing and add something else to it; the results can be dumb beyond belief. During World War II, the Nazi’s found this out when they created the Mistel, also known as Vati und Sohn (Daddy and Son) by stacking two planes together to create a single “super bomb.” They took a fighter and mounted it on top of a bomber loaded with explosives. Linking the two planes and their controls together, they created a single composite aircraft that was piloted from the fighter. Taking off as a single linked aircraft, the pilot guided the craft towards it target, releasing the bomber to self-detonate on impact. This little known technology was employed in the defense of Normandy on D-Day and some other operations in the European theater.

The idea sounded reasonably good, and there were early indications that this would work.  However,  there was one huge problem that no one foresaw. The combined aircraft was incredibly slow and awkward, making it an easy target for Allied fighters to hunt down and shoot out of the sky. After very limited use towards the end of the war, they were abandoned as a weapon. None of the combined aircraft survived the war; one fighter with its explosive bolts still intact is on display at the Imperial War Museum in London. Here 1 + 1 ≠ 2.

While cooking and war planes give us bad examples of trying to mix things together, so do our lives. We try to continually mix things together that will only wind up causing grief, pain and trouble. It’s like “The Deal” episode from Seinfeld;

Jerry: Because this... [friendship gesturing between them] is very good.

Elaine: [gesturing to the bedroom] And that would be good.

Jerry: That [repeating bedroom gesture] would be good too.

Jerry: See the idea's to combine this [friendship gesturing] and that [gesturing to the bedroom]. But this [friendship gesturing] cannot be disturbed.

Elaine: Yeah, we just want to take this [friendship gesturing] and... add that [gesturing to the bedroom].

Jerry: There you go.

Not only do we muddy the waters of life by mixing things together, we infect our relationship with God in the same way. We take a little bit of this, a little bit of that and mix it with a smidgen of something else only to create a Faith Frankenstein of who God is. We manufacture God with our personal likes, desires and imagination, winding up with a god idol of our own making. We choose who God is, who we are and how to reconnect with him. I have a friend in the Midwest that was raised in a Christian church setting who is mixing all sorts of ideas from around the religious universe. His picture of God is now an old man, benign, powerless, and not at all interested in our lives. Being left to fend spiritually for himself, he seeks out control and knowledge through crystals and personal empowerment through an impersonal power. My friend’s journey and conclusions are not at all unusual. I hear the same voyage of spiritual loneliness, emptiness and abandonment in many.

The really good news is that the complete opposite is true; God wants a deep, face-to-face, transparent personal relationship with us. He is not a far away, unknowable, impersonal power. We see his clear desire and message about this when the Bible describes Jesus as God who personally came here for us [1]. God is not trying to hide out; he’s reaching out to and for us. He’s so desires this kind of relationship that Jesus did whatever was necessary to reunite us, suffering and dying to restore us to God, our meaning and purpose in life and for all eternity

God offers us himself, and that’s where 1 + 1 really does equal 1.

Blessings - Chet

Chet Gladkowski speaks and writes on topics that touch on culture, life and faith through GLAD Associates. This article is taken from a chapter in his upcoming book.

Sources:

• http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Mistel
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mistel
• http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697682/

[1]        John 1:1-4 We are writing to you about something which has always existed yet which we ourselves actually saw and heard: something which we had an opportunity to observe closely and even to hold in our hands, and yet, as we know now, was something of the very Word of life himself! For it was life which appeared before us: we saw it, we are eye-witnesses of it, and are now writing to you about it. It was the very life of all ages, the life that has always existed with the Father, which actually became visible in person to us mortal men. We repeat, we really saw and heard what we are now writing to you about. We want you to be with us in this—in this fellowship with the Father, and Jesus Christ his Son. We must write and tell you about it, because the more that fellowship extends the greater the joy it brings to us who are already in it. (JBP)

Put it out of its missery

Once again we are in that empty void of time and space between the end of the playoffs and the Super Bowl. Rather than do nothing, the NFL is dragging out the Pro Bowl in order to solve insomnia for millions. To say that it is a boondoggle for players, league officials, the media and their families is to give it more credit than it deserves. While the game was originally designed to generate finds for player retirement, that need has long gone the way of the dodo bird with the advent of multi-million dollar contracts and a $9-billion television agreement. Now players stand around and dance with one another when the ball is hiked until someone falls or goes out of bounds.

But the Pro Bowl is worthy of our time and attention as it brings up the question of what to do with things that just aren’t worth anything anymore. There are literally thousands of things that we once thought indispensable that just need to be thrown away. Here are a few;

• I had an 8-track player and I loved blaring out rock and roll in my in my 1968 Plymouth Valiant (not exactly a muscle car that was going to impress anyone). There is someone in our local farmers market who is still selling them – I have no idea who or why anyone would buy them other than they need something to collect dust.
• We put carbon paper in between pages to make copies of notes and letters. It was a terrible mess and (heaven forbid) when you made a mistake, you had to erase all the copies behind the original. Yet for all its trouble, it was a life saver in the pre-Xerox days. I was really surprised to find that Staples and other office supply stores still sell it.
• Whenever I had a bad cold, my mom would rub Vicks VaproRub on my chest to stop my coughing and relieve congestion. If I was really sick she would push some of it up my nose. It smelled really weird but doing it was not up for debate and I didn’t have a vote either. Mary Ann’s grand dad was really bullish about VapoRub and its benefits. Not only did he eat it, he would smear it in his eyes.

I’m sure you could easily add to this list. There are so many things that we once thought important but have slipped into triviality and worthlessness.

Some people feel that way about themselves. Once they felt important, had things to do, places to go, people to meet. Now they feel like their lives are filled with hollow hours of depression, loneliness and emptiness. It doesn’t matter that their schedules may be filled; there is still this ache in their heart that something is missing.

• Lives that were once filled with activity and energy are silenced by injury or illness
• Entering retirement with expectations of freedom and an “active adult lifestyle” you wake up every morning wondering who you are, feeling empty
• A home that you hoped would be filled with the laughter of children or grandchildren is a silent, lonely cave because pregnancy will not come
• With the death of a loved one, there is a deep hole in your soul that will not be closed or healed
• The kids have grown up and moved on leaving you with only hollow memories and pictures gathering dust

There was a man named Zach that felt this way about himself and his life; hated and all alone. No one liked him, his job made him despised by everyone. Working for the army of an occupation army, he was a traitor and was regularly stealing from his neighbors. Zach heard that Jesus was coming so he climbed up a tree to get a good look because he was short (I wonder if people made fun of him because he was short too.) Anyway, when Jesus sees him up in that tree, he calls to Zach by name and invites himself over for dinner. Zach was really excited that someone as popular and important as Jesus wanted to be with him, in his house. There was a lot of mumbling in the crowd because everyone knew that Zach was a traitor and a thief. Looking at Jesus, Zach immediately gave half of everything he owned and promised to pay back everyone four-times what he stole. Jesus then announced to the crowd that Zach was one of them, a brother, neighbor and fellow countrymen.

Jesus then concludes with the radical words that he had come looking for the lonely and lost so he could restore them. [1]

No matter what the problem, Jesus never turned away from a person or a problem. People came to him with all sorts of pain, suffering, death and questions. He never sent people away, he never told them to fix themselves, he always reached out and received them.

No matter what our circumstances, God’s feeling and choice for us is one of love, reception and redemption. You are not a mistake, you are not worthless and neither is your life.

When you think that you are alone in your pain and suffering, remember that it’s not because God does not care. It is not that he hates us; nothing could be further from the truth. He cares greatly. His love is so deep that he was willing to send Jesus for us.

So if you feel all along and you're stuck up a tree, reach out to Jesus. Hanging onto him can and will make all the difference in your world.

Blessings - Chet

Chet Gladkowski speaks and writes on topics that touch on culture, life and faith through GLAD Associates. This article is taken from a chapter in his upcoming book.

Source: [1] Luke 19:1-9

Afraid to fail

This Sunday provided two examples of leadership and a quality that is very rare today. Jim and John Harbaugh became the first brothers scheduled to coach against one another in the upcoming Super Bowl. Jim and the San Francisco 49ers beat the Atlanta Falcons, returning to the Super Bowl for the first time since Steve Young was their quarterback. John and the Baltimore Ravens beat the heavily favored New England Patriots and will be returning to the Super Bowl for their second time.

In all the hype that surrounds the "brother on brother" side of the game, both Jim and John exhibited a leadership quality that is very rare in professional sports, not to mention life in general. While the NFL does not stand for "No Failure League," both head coaches made significant and high risk decisions in the middle of this year. By nature, NFL head coaches are reluctant to take major risks, it’s better for job security to play it safe whenever possible.

Jim rolled the dice first. He made the controversial call to stick with former backup quarterback Colin Kaepernick after Alex Smith, San Francisco’s starter had recovered from a concussion. Jim figured the speedy, athletic Kaepernick was the right guy to help the 49ers take a bigger step this season. Clearly, Jim nailed that one.

John was no less on point in his assessment of what Baltimore needed. With the Ravens in a three-game slide in mid-December, he fired offensive coordinator Cam Cameron and promoted quarterbacks coach Jim Caldwell. Baltimore’s offense has surged in the postseason — and quarterback Joe Flacco has never played better.

 

Kaepernick and Caldwell were put into position to succeed because the Harbaughs weren't afraid to fail. They were willing to make a tough decision that, on paper looked like a high risk choice. They were willing to do the unusual and that’s uncommon in the coaching business, and in the game of life.

Sometimes we face choices just in the normal pace of life, sometimes they are thrown in our face. There is a scene in “You’ve Got Mail” where the writers and actors express it so well;

So, dearie, what have you decided to do?

Close. We're going to close.

Closing the store is the brave thing to do.

You are such a liar. But thank you.

You are daring to imagine that you could have a different life. I know it doesn't feel like that. You feel like a big failure. But you're not. You are marching into the unknown, armed with...nothing. Have a sandwich.

Yes, we all face tough choices. Some seem easy to make, others not so much. These choices face us in life, business, relationships, at home and in our decisions about faith. Jesus made this abundantly clear when he told his closest and most dedicated followers “What good can it do a man to gain the whole world at the price of his own soul?”

Jesus gives us precious little wiggle room when it comes to who he is and what changes he needs to make in our life. He clearly claims to be God the creator and sustainer of the universe who came down from heaven because we had broken our relationship with God. And since we could not fix ourselves or our brokenness, he had to come and repair us in and through himself. He offers himself as the only solution for the “hole in our soul” between us, God, others and life itself.

But Jesus comes as a gentleman; he offers himself and his solution for our brokenness. It’s right there for the taking, but we have to receive his great gift of himself. He does not ram it down our throat but offers himself as a gift. So, the high risk choice is to continue trying to fix ourselves or to turn our lives over to Jesus to repair, renovate and refurbish our life. That sounds like a no-brainer to me.  What have you got to lose?

Blessings - Chet

Chet Gladkowski speaks and writes on topics that touch on culture, life and faith through GLAD Associates. This article is taken from a chapter in his upcoming book.

Sources:

• Super Bowl XLVII: Big gambles by both Harbaughs put their teams in the final game, by Jason Reid, January 21, 2013, www.washingtonpost.com
• Mark 8:36

Is that all there is?

Depending on where you live, or where you grew up, this weekend provided an extreme set of highs and lows. We moved into the middle of the NFL playoffs and the greater portion of prime time television was jam-packed full of pregame analysis, play-by-play coverage, interviews, and post-game autopsies with the winners and losers.

For me personally, last week was quite satisfying, as the Baltimore Ravens defeated the Indianapolis (once the Baltimore) Colts. Yes, there is justice!

This weekend, the Baltimore Ravens faced the Denver Broncos and played into double overtime. While ”a pall like silence” fell on the  Denver fans, there were shouts of jubilation in Baltimore, as a rookie kicked a field goal to secure the victory.

Throughout my contacts on Facebook and e-mail, the Internet was alive and sang with great excitement over this incredible victory. There were great notes of happiness, but now everyone has settled back into Monday and every day existence, uncertain if today is worth living or not as they look towards the game against New England this weekend.

In the midst of this football frenzied weekend, an important, but little known individual committed suicide.   Aaron Swartz, 26, was found dead in his apartment after hanging himself. Aaron became an Internet folk hero at the age of 14 when he helped to create RSS (Rich Site Summary) which gives you the ability to publish and receive frequently updated information such as blogs, news headlines, audio and video in standard format. Virtually every commercial website makes this available so you can get updated information automatically. Within the Internet community, he was famous, receiving high praise and accolades for his brilliance and foresight, not to mention that financially he lacked for nothing

The topic of suicide may make you uncomfortable or you think that it doesn't touch you in your life. I understand, but suicide has deeply impacted me and my family. I have three close family members that have also come and ended their life. The statistics about suicide in America are epidemic in proportion:

• 38,364 – US annual suicide rate
• 959,100 nonfatal attempts at suicide
• one suicide every 13.7 minutes across the US
• one suicide every day for active military personnel, now eclipising deaths in combat
• third leading cause of death among US young behind accidents and homicide

Depression and suicide do not discriminate; no matter your background or personality we are all susceptible. You could've had an economic windfall or free-for-all, depression and suicide are equal opportunity oppressors.

If we live in a world that was created by chance, then Aaron's actions make sense. No matter what our achievements, no matter our bank account, no matter our past, present or future; there truly is nothing to look forward to.

Remember Melvin Udall, as played by Jack Nicholson in "As Good As It Gets?" He asks if this is all there is to life and is this as good as it gets. While Jack received the Oscar for best actor, his portrayal and words knife us in the heart as we ask the same question about ourselves? Our life? Whether there is any meaning and purpose?

Jesus understands our needs for comfort and strength to live today, even though depression and suicide. He does not promise to eliminate it; he does not give us a winning lottery ticket to solve all our feelings of guilt, depression, inadequately or failure. What he does offer us is himself. He offers “rest for our souls” when we come to him exhausted, worn out, bent over with the weight of everything that we carry around inside.

This past week I ran into a situation where I came to that place. Working hard to achieve a goal, things just didn’t work out. Try as hard as I might, it just didn’t come to fruition. My life’s history would lead me down the well-worn path of feeling spent, discouraged, like a failure. But then a dear friend spoke words of truth and encouragement into my life. He grabbed my face, looked me straight in the eye and said “Don’t let this bother you. Jesus has great love for you.” Words cannot express what a difference that made to me.

While I’m not right there with you, let me reach out and repeat those same words to you. Jesus has open hands and arms to hold us, open ears to listen and an open heart to love. Strength, renewal and encouragement come when we bring it all to Jesus. He alone can share our burdens and walk with us. No one else in all history made such a claim, and he keeps his promises…there is more.

Blessings - Chet 

Chet Gladkowski speaks and writes on topics that touch on culture, life and faith through GLAD Associates. This article is taken from a chapter in his upcoming book.

Sources:

http://www.suicidology.org

http://www.nytimes.com, Internet Activist, a Creator of RSS, Is Dead at 26, Apparently a Suicide, By JOHN SCHWARTZ, January 12, 2013

http://www.nytimes.com, Suicides Outpacing War Deaths for Troops, By TIMOTHY WILLIAMS, June 8, 2012

Matthew 11:28-30 – Come to me, all of you who are weary and over-burdened, and I will give you rest! Put on my yoke and learn from me. For I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.